I am a 41 year old single father who works as a professor and administrator in higher education. I used to workout 5 - 6 days a week; however, between my son becoming more involved in extra-curricular activities and a couple of promotions at work, I found myself having no time to get to the gym over the last few years. Add to that some stress-related poor eating habits, and I had put on quite a bit of weight, and I had zero energy - relying heavily on coffee, caffeinated soda, or energy drinks to get me through the day. Not only that, I was completely dissatisfied with my body image, which in my mind resembled something like a 6’5” pasty walrus in button up shirt and khaki pants.
At the beginning of this year, I was determined to get healthier, so I started a diet and exercise regimen. Not quite two weeks into it, you know just about when most New Year’s resolutions begin to falter, my best friend since childhood, Barry Jackson, died of a massive heart attack, leaving behind his wife and two beautiful children. Let me tell you, this was a real wake up call for me.
Leaving my best friend’s funeral, I had more resolve than ever to get healthy to do everything in my power not to orphan my own son. I had read about various workout programs available through Team BeachBody, and I wanted those kind of results. However, I had enough sense to know I was not physically ready to take on such a challenge.
For the last sixty days, I have been on a very strict carb counting diet coupled with about an hour to an hour and a half of cardio daily on an exercise bike I bought, so I did not have to hit the gym for my cardio. Every time I entertained the idea of not exercising, it's as if I could feel Barry in the room threatening to shove his size 13 Nike up my behind. So with that additional incentive, I have managed to stay the course these last two months.
In that time, I have lost 30 pounds (about half of what I need to lose) and have vastly improved my resting heart rate. However, as anybody who does low carb can tell you, part of that weight loss has been muscle tissue; plus, I am pretty burned out on the low carb diet as a whole. I knew these downsides going into it, but I saw this type of rapid weight loss plan as simply a tool, a stepping stone if you will.
Now that I have prepared myself by losing a portion of my weight and getting a little more heart healthy, I am definitely ready to accept a greater challenge. I need an intense program that does not require any equipment since I sometimes travel for work. So I am set to begin 60 days of the Insanity workout, and I cannot wait to see the results in continued weight loss, even better heart health, and a much toner body.
So Shaun T, my man, you can consider it brought! And if I ever feel just too exhausted to get up and go Insane, I know Barry will be there to pick me up and push me on.
Published with the permission of my anonymous friend. If you know Mr. Anonymous, please allow him to stay that way by not mentioning his name here or on any other social media platform where this post might appear.
Also, please - no bashing. This guy did his time and learned his lesson. Laughing your ass off, however, is acceptable. Gracias.
His son turned this into his teacher as a routine writing assignment:
"This weekend I saw the polar express movie.We got the big dinner box at pizza hut. it was fun my dad got out of jail and it"
"was his last week. This weekend was a blast. Soon it will be cristmas and I will spend time with my family."
A conversation while standing in the checkout line at WalMart and upon discovering I was directly behind a co-worker:
Co-worker: "Oh hi, Dean. How's it going?"
Me: "Pretty well. How about you?"
Co-worker: "Can't complain. Chocolates, huh? For the girlfriend? Good man!"
Me: "Uh, not exactly. This is a replacement gift for my mother's birthday this week because I stupidly thought the other box would be safe in my house for several days."
Co-worker (with a look one might give a person when trying to ascertain if he is insane or just completely stupid): "Oh, I see. Hmm, well ok, I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. I will see you, umm, next week I guess." -the last part said while tiptoeing away as if to avoid stepping on an Iraqi landmine.
Oh yeah, mom, guess what you are getting for your birthday. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
"A very good blog, this site is the entertaining life of a teacher who feels that teaching can be fun and not Ben Stein-like monotone!... It's forward, it's honest, and yet still feels completely human and true-to-life!...
Single father, Professor, Humor Blogger. Although my job title is a very serious sounding, Division Chair of Arts and Sciences, I usually get ready for work by dancing in the shower, like the offspring of a Cuervoed up lemur and a Rhesus monkey drinking ecstasy/vodka tonics, while listening to hip hop on Pandora Radio. Because I can if I want to.